Questions

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Seeking out the answers to the bigger questions of life, I just want solitude.
Some time to think on my own and organize the millions of random thoughts.
Thoughts flooding my brain with all the creativity and spark God gave me.
Solice in a time of chaos and uncertainity in all aspects of my life and the world.

How do others seem to have all the answers and have it all together?
For me, there is only slow, steady metamorphesis into something beautiful.
Beautiful, bold, unique, and quite unwilling to submit to societal norms.
Traditional and modern - a walking contradiction in every sense of the word.

Why was she made this way? What hidden talents were given to her upon her birth?
Eventually, she'll find her place and all questions will be answered in time.
Eventually, she'll leave her mark upon the world in her own special way.
Her life, her work, her love, and her devotion.

The Truth Or Not So Much?

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways. And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery... Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever. You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Lake Death

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Crushed under the weight of Lake Huron, there is nothing left.
All is silent, wet, and dark as I lay waiting for my ultimate fate.
The quiet buries all in the silent secret of the waves of its depth.
Slowly as my soul rises, my body is now a part of the shore.

Looking down into its eerie depths, the lake reveals all its splendor,
I can't help but realize the truth in reincarnation and the cycle of life.
I can be found in all the wrecks, all the storms, and all watery graves.
What's next, I do not know - just the rustling of waves against the shore.

Whatever

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As she pulled out of her parents' drive, she drifted away,
Drifted into a new world where she'd have to rely only on herself.
She wondered exactly what role her parents would play
In her budding independence, in her newly found wealth.

She wanted it all - closeness of family and fierce independence.
How could she reconcile all of her hearts dreams, wishes?

Frustrated and Confused

Right now, I am a bit unsure as to where to go with this blog. While I would like to update every day, I don't want to force material. I think I am just going to give a quick update similar to this if I don't feel like writing.

By the way, I apologize for not updating in quite some time. The more I put it off, the more overwhelming it became. I'm going to start fresh tomorrow and try out my new system.

Thanks for your patience readers! Good art takes time.

More later...

Lindsey

RESPONSE ...nothing but sophistry and illusion

As I state below, this entry profoundly changed the way I viewed certain subjects.
One day I hope to do the same with my writing!

More later...

Lindsey

____________________________________________________________________
...nothing but sophistry and illusion

WOW. His entry concerning male sexuality really gave me a new perspective on how women are portrayed on our society. It harms not only women and their body image, it hurts men as well. Above all, it hurts relationships between men and women. I would have never thought of these subjects in this light if it hadn't been for this entry.

More later.

Lindsey

Spanish Ghosts

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A jumbled mess that needs to be weeded of all things unnecessary;
Organization attempted, but certainly unsuccessful thus far in my life.
How do I keep all of the good and bad memories straight -
Straight when I don't even know what I truly felt even 3 years on?

Your sense of humor, your humanity, your depth, your intelligence:
They all haunt me to this day... and I wonder why you bothered.
Why did you hurt me so? Why did you give me just a taste...
A taste of what our life could be together as more than friends?

You certainly had no intentions with me; I was more of a sister...
Why didn't you set me free when you had a chance? You coward.
Your lucky another man came along to clean up your mess and more.
He gave me all I needed without any obligation or false pretense.

He simply was there for me in a way that you never could be.
You are and always will be too much like my Dad - SELFISH.
And you're the one who is going to have to live with his actions and regret.
I'd love to say "Eat Shit and Die," but I wish you no harm.

For I know someday someone will do the very same unto you.
And I won't be able to be there to pick up all the pieces.
I ended up happy in this whole mess, which is more than I ever dreamed.
Wish you luck with all you do, but I do hope that you realize what you did to me.

I hope that one day something occurs in your life to give you pause,
And remember a winter in Madrid with a girl who at one time loved you -
A girl who cried herself to sleep wanting simply to kiss you and maybe more...
A girl who met you in Mexico and rehashed years of old memories...

I hope that you realize that you did her a huge favor... You let her go.
You let her go and find the true love that was just waiting for her...
You freed her from the pressure of having to always acheive, strive, wander.
You allowed her to see that not all men are selfish... Though you never knew it.

You may never know what an impact you had on her life, but she wishes you did.
She wishes she could see you there on the corner, cigarette in hand;
Looking more sophisticated than ever, you give her a nod and a smile...


And you say "Here's Looking At You, Kid," and she'd get the joke.

Some Day...

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You were loved long before you were a thought, hope, or dream.
And you will be cherished forever no matter what happens on Earth.
You were created, whether fulfilled or not, out of undying true love.
It is only you that sustains me and allow me to grow and create.

It may seem selfish that I crave having you alone for months,
But it is only that desire that allows me to prepare for your life.
I long to teach you right from wrong, and all I've learned in my life.
I believe that, no matter what, you will watch us grow and mature.

I may not get to hold you, touch you, or kiss your little baby toes,
I may not get to soothe your fears and tuck you in each starry night,
It does not matter, because the mere thought of you is enough.
You'll always be the deepest part of my soul propelled into the future.

As I think of all the traditional stories and dare to hope, pray, and believe,
You are every action I take, everything I experience in life, and more...
As a result, you already have been given life, whether you like it or not.
Nothing can keep me from you; nothing can keep a mother from her child.

Save Me From Myself

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I dream, wish, hope, and fear for nothing.
Doesn't matter what happens in my life.
Nothing matters without you in my arms.
My empty arms say it all - a life wasted.

What I create will surely die with me.
And be swept up in a wave of hell fire.
You won't be here to keep it alive and well.
How will anyone know that I ever existed?

10 years after my untimely death, nothing.
No one will remember that I was once here.
Someone who loved and was loved deeply.
Someone who risked it all for naught.

But, there is hope in hanging on to a dream.
And not giving in to the whims of the Earth.
My very soul has loved you always and forever.
And that will and should count for something.

Antique Soul

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As Hank played on the radio, she slowly browsed the store.
Looking for a bargain, a treasure, or maybe something more.
Intoxicated by it all, she dreamed about a past long perished.
In her mind, every detail of every item should be cherished.

A place for every item in her home, she certainly could not find.
Rather, a visit to such a store would do much to ease her mind.
Longing for a deeper connection with the past, she dreamed.
Dreaming of simplier places and times, she now schemed.

New uses, new places, new life for each object newly acquired.
New memories, new traditions, new families as always desired.
With these new lives, the past certainly won't die any time soon.
For those who don't know history, its repetition surely looms.

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it." - George Santayana

As I Live on the Edge of Life

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As I live on the edge of life, I clearly see what is truly most important.
No high-paced career, no material goods could ever make me happy.
All I need I have right in front of me now, the love of my life, my family.
If I lost everything else, I would still be ok, and now I have proof.

I have proof that I am worth more than my title or the money I make.
As I start out on this beautiful journey called life, I know what's precious.
No matter whether I achieve or experience failure, they will always be there.
They have, and always will, pick up the pieces that have shattered like glass.

The newest reincarnation may be more fragile, but it is also more beautiful.
While it may be fragile, it also has an inner strength that wasn't there before.
It is wiser for the fall, and now knows how to love more fully, deeper than ever.
And that is truly the greatest gift one can give herself in times of deep depair.

Brief Update

Just found out last night that Brian's brother Todd is going to have a piece of his poetry published by Poetry.com. It will be in a book they're putting out and on a CD (just spoken version of the book). Anyway, I'm envious! It is really motivating me to get going on my poetry and short stories.

There'll be a lot of improvements over the next few days.

More later...

Lindsey

A Force To Be Reckoned With

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A force to be reckoned with, she doesn't know when to quit.
She doesn't take no for an answer, or let anyone get in her way.
She doesn't listen to those who don't think she was good enough.
Or smart enough, or thin enough, or beautiful enough.

She had the power to shape her destiny and get what she wanted.
Nothing has to change and no compromises need to be made.
All she needs she has right inside herself, and what isn't there...
What isn't there, she can find in the one true love of her life.

Quote from "Into That Goodnight" - Roseanne

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."

- T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia)

I Have Loved You in So Many Ways - Rod McKuen

I have loved you
in so many ways
in crowds or all alone.
When you were sleeping
beside me.

When you were away
and I imagined others
watching you in the street
or worse -
you in other people's arms.

I have seen the march
of beach birds and loved you.
I have lent myself
to summer sun and loved you.

And seeing naked trees
and raising my collar
to the wind
and counting minutes
till chartered hours
were there
I have loved you.

And the questions
never asked.
The answers learned
at love's expense.

I've promised myself.
I will not ask
where you have been tonight
I'll only say hello
and hope.

As published in Seasons in the Sun by Rod McKuen.

Snow Storm

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As she sat in the window dreaming, she couldn't see outside.
In a cascade of white, every detail of life outside is obscured.
12 inches in all, she watched very single flake flutter and fall.
Curled up in the window, she began to write all her thoughts.

She just had to share all the details, but who could she trust?
Until then, she just safely kept them buried deep in her heart.
As she started to write, the details all came rushing back in.
Every thought, every true sentence uttered, every broken heart.

Seasons In The Sun... - Rod McKuen

We had joy, we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
but the wine and the song
like the seaons have all gone.

We had joy, we had fun
we had seaons in the sun
but the song and the rhyme
were just seasons out of time.

All our lives we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
but the stars we could reach
were just starfish on the beach.

- Excerpted from the song "Seasons In the Sun;" Lyrics by Rod McKuen;
Music by Jaques Brel; Published by E.B. Marks

Sun, Sand, and Life

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As I lay on the beach daydreaming, I slowly fall away.
Fall into a fantasy world of sun, sand, and water...
All I need is a hammock, margarita, and sunglasses.
Oh, and I don't know, maybe a good book or two or three.

As I slowly wake, and head out into the thunderous surf,
As I fall away under the waves, I float into a private new world -
A wet painting of blue, green, and yellow - newly discovered,
A new world full of interesting, silent, and wonderous life.