Spanish Ghosts

DE, an online diary community. Free web-based online diaries. - View Diary

A jumbled mess that needs to be weeded of all things unnecessary;
Organization attempted, but certainly unsuccessful thus far in my life.
How do I keep all of the good and bad memories straight -
Straight when I don't even know what I truly felt even 3 years on?

Your sense of humor, your humanity, your depth, your intelligence:
They all haunt me to this day... and I wonder why you bothered.
Why did you hurt me so? Why did you give me just a taste...
A taste of what our life could be together as more than friends?

You certainly had no intentions with me; I was more of a sister...
Why didn't you set me free when you had a chance? You coward.
Your lucky another man came along to clean up your mess and more.
He gave me all I needed without any obligation or false pretense.

He simply was there for me in a way that you never could be.
You are and always will be too much like my Dad - SELFISH.
And you're the one who is going to have to live with his actions and regret.
I'd love to say "Eat Shit and Die," but I wish you no harm.

For I know someday someone will do the very same unto you.
And I won't be able to be there to pick up all the pieces.
I ended up happy in this whole mess, which is more than I ever dreamed.
Wish you luck with all you do, but I do hope that you realize what you did to me.

I hope that one day something occurs in your life to give you pause,
And remember a winter in Madrid with a girl who at one time loved you -
A girl who cried herself to sleep wanting simply to kiss you and maybe more...
A girl who met you in Mexico and rehashed years of old memories...

I hope that you realize that you did her a huge favor... You let her go.
You let her go and find the true love that was just waiting for her...
You freed her from the pressure of having to always acheive, strive, wander.
You allowed her to see that not all men are selfish... Though you never knew it.

You may never know what an impact you had on her life, but she wishes you did.
She wishes she could see you there on the corner, cigarette in hand;
Looking more sophisticated than ever, you give her a nod and a smile...


And you say "Here's Looking At You, Kid," and she'd get the joke.